BFI Intensiv A2.1
Fawlty Towers - Mrs Richards
Basil: Good morning, madam, can I help you?
Mrs.
Richards: Are you the manager?
Basil: I am the owner, madam.
Mrs.
Richards: What?
Basil: I am the owner!
Mrs.
Richards: I want to speak to the manager!
Basil: I am the manager, too.
Mrs.
Richards: What?
Basil: I am the manager, as well!
Manuel: Manager, he manager.
Mrs.
Richards: Oh, you’re Watt. (The guest thinks that the manager’s name is
Watt.)
Basil: I’m the manager!!
Mrs.
Richards: What?
Basil: I’m the manager!
Mrs.
Richards: Yes, I know, you’ve just told me. What’s the
matter with you? Now listen to me. I booked a room with a
bath. When I book a room with a bath I expect to get a bath.
Basil: You've got a bath.
Mrs.
Richards: I'm not paying seven pounds twenty pence
per night plus VAT for a room without a bath.
Basil: [goes into the bathroom] There is your bath.
Mrs.
Richards: You call that a bath? It's not big enough
to drown a mouse.
Basil: [quietly] I wish you were a mouse, I'd show you...
Mrs.
Richards: And another thing. I booked a room with a
view.
Basil: [quietly to Manuel] Deaf, mad, and blind. [Goes
to the window] Yes, this is the view as far as I can remember, madam, yes,
yes, this is it.
Mrs.
Richards: When I pay for a view, I expect something
more interesting than that.
Basil: But that is Torquay, madam.
Mrs.
Richards: Well it's not good enough.
Basil: Well, may I ask what you’re expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel
bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon?
Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically...?
Mrs.
Richards: Don't be silly. I expect to be able to see
the sea.
Basil: You can see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky.
Mrs.
Richards: I'd need a telescope to see that.
Basil: Well, then, may I suggest you move to a hotel closer to the sea? Or
preferably in it.
Mrs
Richards: Now listen to me. I am not satisfied, but I
have decided to stay here. However, I shall expect a reduction.
Mrs
Richards: No, because the room is cold, the bath is
too small, the view is invisible, and the radio doesn't work.
Basil: No, the radio works. You don't.
Mrs
Richards: What?
Basil: I'll see if I can fix it, you scabby old bat. (…) I think we got
something there!
Mrs
Richards: What?
Basil: I think we got something there!
Mrs
Richards: What are you doing?
Manuel: Que?
Basil: Madam, don’t think me rude, but may I ask, do you by any chance have a
hearing aid?
Mrs
Richards: A what?
Basil: [shouting] A hearing aid!
Mrs
Richards: Yes I do have a hearing aid!
Basil: Would you like me to get it mended?
Mrs
Richards: Mended? It's working perfectly alright.
Basil: No it isn't!
Mrs
Richards: I haven't got it turned on at the moment.
Basil: Why not?
Mrs
Richards: The battery runs down. Now what sort of
reduction are you prepared to give me on this room?
Basil: [whispering] 60% if you turn it on.
Mrs
Richards: What?!
Basil: My wife handles all such matters, I’m sure she'll be delighted to
discuss it with you.
Mrs
Richards: I shall speak to her after lunch.
Basil: [muttering] You heard that all right, didn't you...
No comments:
Post a Comment